[Compassion-Focused Therapy is a cornerstone of care at Reasons Eating Disorder Center, helping individuals overcome shame and self-criticism while fostering self-compassion and connection. This evidence-based approach supports healing not just during the holidays, but year-round.]

The holiday season is a time when we hope for joy, connection and celebration—but it can also be a season filled with stress, unmet expectations and emotional challenges. For those navigating mental health struggles, such as eating disorders, anxiety or depression, the holidays may amplify feelings of loneliness, guilt or stress.

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) offers a unique approach to these challenges by fostering self-kindness and reducing shame and self-criticism. Grounded in the belief that compassion can heal emotional pain, CFT provides tools to navigate the holiday season with more grace and ease.

What Is Compassion-Focused Therapy?

CFT combines elements of mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral therapy and evolutionary psychology to help people cultivate compassion for themselves and others. It focuses on understanding of the role of shame, self-criticism and fear, and teaches strategies to develop a compassionate mindset.

At its core, CFT encourages balance between three emotional systems:

  • The Threat System (fight, flight, freeze): Activated by stress and danger.
  • The Drive System: Motivates achievement and reward.
  • The Soothing System: Supports feelings of safety and connection.

During the holiday season, the threat system may become overactivated due to stress, social pressures or family dynamics. When the threat system is activated, we may engage in behaviors called “safety strategies” for self-protection which could be eating disorders behaviors, isolation or perfectionism.

These behaviors are done in an attempt to soothe and protect from threats; however they have unintended consequences such as harm, shame or loneliness. CFT helps to activate the soothing system, creating a sense of calm and self-acceptance that is relational and grounded in a compassionate stance toward oneself.

How CFT Can Support You During the Holidays

1. Practicing Self-Compassion
The holidays often come with high expectations—perfect meals, joyful gatherings, and meeting everyone’s needs. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to slip into self-criticism. CFT encourages self-compassion by reminding you that imperfection is part of being human.

Try this: Place a hand over your heart and repeat a compassionate statement, such as, “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”

2. Soothing the Threat System
Family dynamics or social events may activate feelings of anxiety or defensiveness. CFT helps you recognize these triggers and respond with actions that bring a sense of safety.

Try this: Engage in a soothing rhythm breathing practice. Breathing in through the nose and out through the nose. Inhale for a count of four, hold for two and exhale for four. Notice the rhythm of your body and breath getting deeper. Imagine breathing out stress and breathing in calm.

3. Reframing Holiday Challenges
It’s natural to feel frustrated or hurt by holiday stressors. CFT encourages reframing these challenges through a compassionate lens, helping you view yourself and others with understanding rather than judgment.

For example: Instead of thinking, “I failed to keep everyone happy,” try, “It makes sense that you feel this way. And it’s impossible to meet everyone’s expectations, and I’m allowed to prioritize my well-being.”

4. Fostering Connection
CFT emphasizes the importance of connection, both with yourself and others. The holidays can provide an opportunity to practice compassionate communication and deepen meaningful relationships.

Try this: Before a gathering, take a moment to set an intention for how you want to connect. For example, “I will listen with kindness and respond with empathy.”

5. Managing Guilt and Shame
For some, the holidays can bring feelings of guilt—over food, traditions or unmet obligations. CFT teaches that guilt and shame often come from our inner critic, and responding with compassion can help soothe these emotions.

Try this: Imagine your inner critic as a misguided friend. What would you say to them with kindness to help them feel less harsh or judgmental?

Here are some guided audio practices to support your self-compassion journey.

A Compassionate Holiday Season

Compassion-Focused Therapy reminds us that the holiday season doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. By practicing self-kindness, calming the mind and connecting with others in compassionate ways, you can navigate the challenges of this time with greater ease.

Remember, the most important gift you can give this season is compassion—to yourself and those around you. If you’re struggling, reach out to a therapist trained in CFT or explore self-help resources to support your well-being.

This holiday season, let compassion guide you toward moments of peace, connection and healing.

About Reasons Eating Disorder Center

Reasons Eating Disorder Center is a health facility that offers a full continuum of inpatient, residential and outpatient programs for adults and adolescents struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating and other eating disorders. We have a team of professionals with expertise that also treats trauma, substance use disorders and related psychiatric issues.

We pride ourselves on creating a personalized treatment approach with all of our patients. We use evidence based nutrition philosophy and therapy to help with our positive results. We also have a commitment to diversity and create a safe space for people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives. Some of our services include our adult inpatient, adult residential and adolescent inpatient programs.

To schedule a no-cost assessment or for more information, please call 844-573-2766.